Self Realization or Something Like That 

I realize that for myself I do things spontaneously when I feel empty. 

Example:

Cut my hair 

Dye my hair 

Start a blog

Start a VLOG

When I feel like something is missing or that I feel alone or scared I try to fill the emptyness inside of me by doing things deemed spontaneous to everyone around me . 

When I launched my business ventures over the last few years they were always around times when I was going “through it”, times when I needed a distraction from the stresses of life and an escape route to happiness. 

Each and every venture I’ve embarked on has been one to help me help myself . Unknowingly I have done different things to myself, and in my life in hopes of saving myself from myself . 

Okay that may come across confusing so I will explain it. 

At my weak moments, because I am human and do have moments where I feel weak and tired and frustrated, I do a variety of things to appease my feelings and assure myself that I will be okay . 

I’ve done things I’ve regretted, made choices that I now look back on shake my head and wonder what on earth made me do something so stupid. 

…Acted up on “worldly” desires, a pastor would say. Things that weren’t necessarily fulfilling to my mental capacity but fulfilling to my flesh and emotions.

I have played the fool.

I never realized that all this time that missing piece to my puzzle was in God. 

My incompletion was a result of my lack of faith and commitment to him. 

While I was so busy searching for what I thought I needed in every which direction I forgot to look up, to seek God and ask HIM to fill the void that I felt in my life. 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.