Disclaimer: I consider myself a follower of Christ, a Christian, a believer and any other title you may call me… NOTHING I say is to throw anyone under the bus or single out anyone.
I write this from experience, I write this because like many others I too have been singled out by a “judgmental person”.
Its funny that even though I am what my peers and society may label as a “Christian”. I have had other “Christians” slander my name, talk bad about me openly and even based on the length of my hair, “fleekness” of my makeup and the “oh.no its above the knee”length of my skirt draw their own conclusions on my personal walk with God, sexual orientation and personality.
I am not saying that ONLY Christians judge, NOR am I in any way attacking anyone who self identifies as a believer or a Child Of God..I am merely stating facts based on real life circumstances that have allowed me to draw this conclusion.
Judge NOT, that you be not judged. For with judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brothers eye, BUT you do not notice the LOG that is in your own eye? or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take out the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye.
Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.
If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this ones religion is useless.
For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world , but that the world through HIM might be saved.
I could go on and on with biblical references on JUDGING… But I think my point has been taken.
While sitting in service one day the idea of this post came to mind. I thought about how many times
WE as the body of Christ have ran people out of the Christian faith based on our own personal God-FREE religious judgments. Its interesting to assume that God is speaking to us when we see that “unsaved” sister walk into church, her extensions fiery red, her skirt semi painted onto her flesh and her heels exceeding the 5 inch “holy ghost check” maximum and immediately assume her lifestyle, banking information, SIN card number, baby father number, sexual partners number and the list goes on.
One of the worst possible things that I have encountered in my 25 years on this planet we know as Earth is concluding something preposterous about someone with little to no information about anything concerning their daily life and personal walk with or without God. I hope I am not the first or the last to admit that I myself have played the role of the “Judgmental Christian”.
YES. I SAID IT. Shocking?
I have seen people in and out of church and made up in my mind that there was no way that person could have been a Child of God looking the way they did. With my Maxi Denim Skirt, elbow covering sweater and makeup-less face I concluded that anyone who looked a certain way could not be a reflection of Christ.
But where did that mindset come from?
I grew up believing that anyone who was not of the Apostolic denomination, wasn’t exactly “saved”. Why I thought this was beyond me but constantly hearing things said about certain people brainwashed me to think that Holiness was in long skirts, natural 4C curly hair and the good old Jamaican Tam that covered your hair not only on Sundays but at the occasional Wednesday Night Service and Youth Service on Fridays. Modesty was preached 24/7 at any and every Conference or Convention I attended. The “Sisters” were ridiculed for wearing their hair a certain way, skirt a certain length and for wearing “too-much” makeup.
Being Holy, or being Christ Like was about my relationship yet I only ever heard stressing on clothes, so you could imagine how that made me think and feel. I am not saying that being Modest is a bad thing, but when all the focus is on the outer appearance.. where does God come in?
Maybe the snares and looks and comments I received as I got older was my Karma for all the years of being biased and ignorant. Maybe the Jezebel comments and cut eyes were Gods way of humbling me to show me how others may have felt when I myself turned a blind eye to them.
I would hear about girls who got pregnant at young ages.
I would think to myself how on earth could she even think about Sex? How as a Christian could she think its okay to let a guy do that to her, with her? I myself planning then that I would have my first REAL kiss when I was married.
( I kissed a few boys in Kindergarten and Grade 1)<- Doesn’t Count !
I was that girl that never gave in to guys comments, never gave in to the requests for dates and refused to let any guy so much as touch my hands too sensually.
God has a sense of humor I tell you.
I didn’t realize how anything could be possible until the rolls were reversed.
NO I HAVE NOT EVER BEEN PREGNANT.
I knew sex before marriage was something I was told not to do since the day I was born. I swear. My parents never had the “birds and the bees” talk with my sister and I but it was something that they indirectly talked about with us. It was something they didn’t have to elaborate on.. we just knew.
That never stopped me though.
And it didn’t stop people from talking about me, from knowing my business and from gossiping about what I did.
“I heard Alicia had sex”
“I heard that at the …. Alicia…. and … were all having sex in the hay stacks”
“I heard Alicia and … did….”
I had done the very thing I looked down on others for doing.
Now I realize that every life lesson makes you stronger and better and wiser. So that dark place in my life helped pave me into the woman I am today. People doubting me, giving up on me and writing me off because of my decisions only made me better and more determined to prove them wrong.
We have all been guilty of being judgmental, Christian or not. Many have had bad experiences with “church” people which has led them to stray away from churches on a whole or have a misconception of God without fully getting a taste of his essence. I am not preaching at all right now and do not want it to come across as If I am. I’m just a everyday girl who has experienced enough to validate my belief and trust in God.
I know how it feels to be looked down upon for not “waiting till marriage”, I know how it feels to have people assume the worst about you just because your skirt may accentuate certain body parts others may lack. I pierced my ears and was called a
backslider, took a picture at the beach and had a “prayer meeting” called on my behalf, stood up for myself and been told I am rude and shaved and dyed my hair and been told I am a rebel. I know how it feels to not be someone and have people assume the worst.
Each day I strive to be open minded without losing myself, to give others a chance and not conclude without knowledge. As Followers of Christ we stress the small stuff, linger on the things that can be changed and write off people before even giving them a chance. God called us to
love, he called us as the “church” to be forgiving, loving, honest and truthful. Kill them with kindness. Who are we to judge? We did NOT die for their sins, we are not God. And no I am not about to use the “Only God can Judge Me” line, I am just saying that unless we purpose in our heart to either help the people who need it the most then we have no rights to talk about them.Sometimes God sends the people you LEAST expect to have the most powerful and life changing impacts on us.
In the Bible God used some of the most unique and unexpected people to deliver messages, preach his word and spread the Love of Jesus. Be careful who you look down on.
Ive been typing for way too long and I want you guys to come back and read more of my posts so I am about to Shut up. But before I log off and finish watching Spider-Man ( 1994 Cartoon Version)…
God is Amazing and I am thankful that everyday is a new journey for me,I’m striving daily to make God happy with my life, as hard as it may be. I am not perfect, there are moments I fall and cry but I make it my mission to get back up again and try again.
Don’t be like me.I was once,
The Judgemental Christian.