People can have you feeling like you’re way older than you really are just by knowing, understanding and reminding you of your age.
The big countdown began for me… And as the days went by I was one day closer , one hour closer, a few minutes closer and even seconds closer to being ” a quarter of a century”. The big 2-5 was supposed to be the year and age that most people have already figured out what they want out of life , set long term and short term goals and are either married, engaged, pregnant ,have their first child OR working on their second. Society has set up these mental pictures in our minds about how our lives are supposed to go, the rates they’re supposed to go at and the pace.
High expectations are set for us and often times we are unable to fulfill them. When I was younger I told myself that by 2-5 I HAD TO be married. In my head I was marrying my at the time boyfriend, I was having 2 kids and that was that. <— Didn’t Happen.
Things About Myself I can OPENLY admit:
I have only ever been in ONE ” Real” relationship.
I am afraid of heights
I am scared of real commitment ( shocking?)
I am a serious hopeless romantic
I love FOOD.
Each and everything in my life that has happened or is currently happening is preparing me for what is to come.
*chants affirmation to self but doesn’t believe one word of what I’m chanting*
When I initially started writing this blog it was before my birthday and I was experiencing the highest level of writers block. I didn’t know what I wanted to talk about but I did know that for my big 2-5 I had to write a post. I was secretly hoping for a fun filled adventure packed day so that I could write a post that makes everyone smile and say wow or wish that they came to Alicias Big 2-5 Bash.
As my 2-5 Birthday approached I can admit I was a bit let down. I had just recently finished up my last week of College, was unemployed and had NO prospects, boo’s or eye candy in my life to claim.. or claim me.
For someone who had their life all figured out from a young age it was very saddening to have arrived at “THE AGE” and not accomplished ANYTHING that I had set up in my mental life clock. Its sad that people can look at you and assume that you have it all together. People can see you smile, or see you on social media and by the way you dress, the car you drive or the house you live in assume your life is perfect.
Looking at me people assumed from my 200 + Instagram posts and 1 minute long snap-chat stories that I had it all worked out. Ive had girls tell me how lucky I was just based off of what they saw.. knowing little to nothing about my personal life. I’ve had people I don’t even know message me telling me how much they look up to me and admire my drive NOT knowing the many times I’ve woke up ready to quit and and every venture I have embarked on.
Good Ole 2-5.
I expected more from myself.
Unlike my other posts I REFUSE to end this off in a sad note.
Though 2-5 did not bring me my Dream Job, Dream Man, Dream Car or any of the other goals I set when I was a teenager.
The BIG 2-5 did however:
- Launched my Everyday Wear Line Noir 91
- Attained networking avenues I would have never ever ever ever had
- Gained insight of what I do and do not want in a man <- BIG THING!
- Put me on the right path career wise
- The Year I graduated ( for the second time) with Honours
Life has honestly taught me that everything may not work out at the pace we may set for ourselves but that God makes no mistakes and what is meant to be in your life will not miss you.
I have learned to trust the process, the plan and most of all the planner.
Heres to 2-5 more years ❤