More than just my ASS-ets: woman in the workforce 

more than just my ass-ets

Being a woman is challenging.

From having to comb my hair, BEAT my face with makeup, deal with unannounced acne, ensure my nails and clothes are “appropriate”, and then the hardest of them all..

Having my male counterparts take me serious.

Being a woman in a male centered world has its challenges. Subconsciously I feel that everything we do as human indirectly is done to appease or cater to our male counterparts. Regardless of our credentials, compared to the males who surround us in the workplace our talents and gifts often go unnoticed and ignored.

Side Note: I am so thankful for having parents who never made me feel that as a woman my place was at home in a mans kitchen, lying in his bed, or cleaning in his laundry room. As I got older they never stressed the importance of me settling down and becoming domesticated. Education and Educational Advancement were always important to them and for as long as I can remember they PUSHED my sister and I to be the BEST we could be, getting the best of educations both in our young years and later in University.

It doesn’t just end at being a woman, if that was the case my worries wouldn’t be so high. Other than the natural feminine ambiance that sprays out when I walk into a room, there’s also the issues of having your male colleagues take you serious despite your obvious ASS-ets. Its so hard to decipher if a guy is being nice because he is generally an overall nice guy, or if he is being nice because he wants to get a taste…

of what.. I will never know.

I have always been that girl who has wanted to do so much with her life, I  have wanted the big car, big house, own my own company.. the works. I have been in a few jobs and seen the preferential treatment that the guys around me got all while having less experience, mileage and knowledge compared to me. Have I commented?

No.

Have I complained?

No.

When I saw them getting raises and my pay didn’t budge.. Did I lash out?

NO.

It pains me that when I want to stand up and out for myself and speak my mind or express my thoughts I may be seen as a “Angry Woman”. If I do too much or go above and beyond I will be seen as a suck up.. someone who kisses the ASS-ets of my Boss to further myself in the company.

When a woman advances too fast = sleeping with her boss

When a woman speaks up for herself= Miserable

When a woman has a good idea and its used= NO credit is given

Because of our stature many woman are subjected to sexual jokes, hit on and viewed as sexual entities instead of equal parts to their male associates. I promised myself that no matter the job if ANY man I ever worked with made me feel a certain way about myself, my body or my credentials…. He would REGRET IT!

I WISH.. the hardships of being a woman ended with period cramps and bra shopping. Sometimes I wish I could act like a Boy

* Ques Ciara “Like A Boy”- Takes out dramatic moves and popping*

Graduating from York University in 2013 I was STRUGGLING to find a job. I saw so many people who were in my graduating class getting internships and  international jobs starting well above entry level pay. Guys who  skipped classes and slacked off ended up working for Environment Canada or other then environmental companies while I struggled to find something in my field on a whole. Not getting that “Government Job” actually ended up helping me more than it hurt me, and is one of the main reasons I have my companies now.

Running a business has taught me that a lot of people take you seriously when you give them reason too.

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Having a Vagina and Breasts should not be a CURSE.. But a GIFT. I should never feel that because I am a woman I will never get as far as I want to be. Because I am a woman I should never feel that my education will get me far BUT not far enough for me to make the 6-Figures my heart desires. I remember wanting to be a Real Estate Agent and having someone tell me that I may not be taken as serious as if I were a man. I remember people telling me on my self realization journey that woman are “too emotional, too caring and too weak” to work certain jobs that a man is better at.

Woman such as :

Madam C. J Walker- Americas FIRST BLACK Self-Made Millionaire

Diane Hendricks-Co-founder/ Chairman at ABC Supply

Oprah Winfrey- Actress, Philanthropist, Director, Producer

Doris Fisher- Co-founder of GAP

Toni Ko- Founder of NYX Cosmetics

Sarah Blakely- Founder of Spanx

Sheila Johnson- Co-Founder of BET

Peggy Cherng- Co-Founder of Panda Express

Jin Sook Chang- Co-Founder of XX1

Jessica Alba- Actress, Founder of The Honest Company

Sophia Amoruso- Nasty Gal

All Million and BILLIONAIRES, have surpassed the males they were surrounded by coming up with products and services that have revenues In the billions yearly. I have been reading books and blog posts aimed at helping me overcome the obvious gender biases I face and helping me to elevate myself to a place where my sex no longer affects my ideals on how I will be viewed and judged not just in the workplace but in general.

For Hundreds of Years Woman have been subjected to receptionists, Filing Clerk, Cleaners, Chef and any other job that entails them catering to others. What many fail to realize is that a lot of these same woman are nurses, marketing guru’s, psychology majors, PR practitioners and accountants by trade but have been subjected to working outside of their area of expertise because of the lack of job avaliability in their field.

So the next time my colleagues bump into me in the halls or at my desk, I hope they look past my obvious ASS-ets and see me as a strong educated and resourceful woman who has more to offer than what society has limited me too because of my gender.

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xoxo Lici

Ugly Truth: Males and Females CANT be Friends.

 

Lets Agree To Disagree….

Guys and Girls Cant be friends..

I am sure there are at least 2 people reading this who are shaking their heads no, completely disagreeing with the statement at hand. They probably think Guys and Girls can be besties, having pajama parties, pouring out their hearts to one another and all that “Jazz” without any emotions involved.

False.

The topic of male female friendships is a very touchy subject. Throughout my 25 years on earth I have only had ONE Male friend that I know of that has not had any form of emotional feelings towards me on any level other than friendship. Now I am not saying there isn’t a girl and guy somewhere in the world who has a male friend whom they hold a platonic non sexual or emotional relationship with, I am merely saying I don’t agree that its as possible and “innocent” as we make it out to be.

Not to pick on men but the nature of most men is  sexual. Even if they don’t always show it there is a hidden itch inside most men’s minds that can often cause their minds to  wonder and stray. Friends or not if you find someone attractive .. then you find them attractive. There Is no way a guy can have a girl as a friend who has all the qualifications of what his ideal woman looks like and doesn’t ever think

A wise old man once said best friends make the best lovers, and this can be seen when two people branch off from being friends to dating.

And there is NOTHING wrong with that ^.

For Me, Alicia Sarah Harper, it becomes an issue when you find yourself being thinking “What If”.

What If we were more?

What if It worked?

What if I told him/her that I like them?

What if they don’t like me back?

What if it ruins our friendship?

Once questions start to populate your mind, for me that’s when its over. I have seen really good friendships ruined over emotions, people who have been friends for over 10 years have a lasting bond ruined because someone “caught feelings”. The worst thing is when you like someone and the feeling isn’t reciprocal.

I think that’s why I am so confused about the topic of Male/Female friendships or more so males and females being “Best Friends”. Someone is bound to catch feelings!

Imagine spending hours daily with the same person, pouring out your heart to the same person, having people break your heart and confiding in the same person, joking around playing with the same person, and to add more cherries onto the cake.. the person is attractive.. that’s when it has problematic potential.

If you give that “friend” the time of day, try to come on to them or jokingly profess your love to them I can promise you that there is a very high chance that they may feel some type of way or probably even start to fall for you.

This is Just My Opinion Though.. I would love to know what others think!

Shoot me your opinions!

xoxo.

Simplilici

Spring Cleaning: The Things I Had To Let Go Of.

As spring approaches and the birds come out and  mate, flowers start to bud and the weather gets  a little bit better so many changes begin.

Not only is there a change with mother nature but changes begin in a lot of peoples lives as well.

Because of the cold nature of Winter, we as humans tend to clutter ourselves with layers of clothes and accessories to keep us warm . We cover ourselves with often times unnecessary clothing articles hoping to keep us warm and comfy. At times  we may even find comfort in things that we don’t need too.

Once Spring comes the layers of protection and warmth are no longer needed, yet sometimes, so attached we rather burn than let go of the things/clothes that we no longer require.

In Life just like when the weather changes we hold on to certain things that we need to let go of.

SPRING CLEANING

That’s what I call it. Sometimes we are so accustomed to certain things and people that they become almost like  cushion for us and even when we know its time to let go we are hesitant, attached and don’t want too release ourselves.

Spring comes and brings new beginnings.

If we think about the cycle of the weather and the circle of life *SIMBA ROAR* All the damage that the winter months brought are repaired and fixed when Spring comes.

Sometimes being comfortable holds us back from many opportunities and advances we could embark on. I have set so many goals for myself in the last 2 years and because of fear or contentment have not attained any of them.

I told myself I would have launched my clothing line fully, traveled to numerous countries around the world, opened up a bit to others around me and even maybe complete a set of literature reads, yet, haven’t gotten even close.

Someone once told me that too many humans live in a place called tomorrow land, pushing off all the things they could possibly do to another day and time.

Spring Cleaning

Forcing Myself to do all that I said I was and not pushing it all off to another day, month of year.

Letting go of all my baggage and picking up the pieces to my future one day at a time. With new life naturally comes new opportunities new experiences and new chances to start fresh. I have been so afraid to move on, so afraid to let go of certain things and people that I’ve kept myself comfy and complacent in my own filth and mess.

 

Spring Cleaning

Dropping off my winter coat that held my memories from …

Spring Cleaning

Removing my knitted hat that sheltered me from the realties around me I tried to ignore

Spring Cleaning

Slipping off my mitts and gloves that have covered my hands, stopping me from expressing myself through my words on paper.

Spring Cleaning

Taking off my scarf that guarded my heart from ever opening up again

I swear I feel the air in my nostrils already. The fresh warming renewing scent of Spring brings me so much hope.

Its a new season. Time to Clean.