I will be the First to Admit It
I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA.
I hate Facebook, I hate Twitter, Turned off By SnapChat and Loathe Instagram.
I hate how consumed and dependant we are on social media.
I hate that I wake up in the morning, and before I thank my creator for life I click to check my Instagram newsfeed to see how many likes my recent picture got.
I hate that I care about peoples opinions of me on Social Media, and that If my followers list doesn’t exceed a certain amount I feel like people don’t like me and thats probably why thy refuse to follow me.
I hate that I want the world to think Im perfect, not perfect perfect but flawless almost.
I hate that I only want people to see me at my best, when my outfits look a certain way, or my hair is laid.
I hate that I feel that If my pictures lack a certain amount of sex appeal people will think I am boring , dull or basic.
I hate that I see people living a certain lifestyle and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough or even that I am not working as hard as I should be.
I see people living what seems to be these perfect lives filled with designer clothes, shoes and luxury cars and often question how far am I willing to go to get the life I see others live.
I hate that I cut my hair, and even though it was my own decision and is something I try to deal with everyday, I hate that seeing woman around me with longer hair makes me feel unsure and insecure about what I don’t have.
I hate when people draw attention to my relationship status or try to make me feel as if I am incomplete or “diseased” because I don’t have a significant other.
I hate Instagram Filters, and how they can make or break my pictures drawing attention to some flaws and highlighting some problem areas.
I hate the pressure I feel to make it.
I hate that some days im proud of my complexion and other days Im not
I hate that social media makes me feel that I’m too dark too be “light skinned” but not dark enough to be dark skinned.
I hate that some days I am made to feel that having natural hair is a blessing, but then other days it’s a curse
I hate the pressures social media puts on me to “filter” my face with apps that hide my scars and blemishes, because if people see the real me… they may not “LIKE” me.
Hate that more people believe in me than I do myself.
I hate that my desire to make it is so strong that It makes me cry when life doesn’t go my way.
I hate the memories that linger on Facebook, The pictures of ex lovers and Long long friends.
I hate being reminded of my past by posts from 2,3,4 or 5 years ago .
I hate that I can’t be where I want to be because of financial obligations and travel restraints.
I hate that fact that in the midst of it all , between hating and juggling 4 Instagram pages , a YouTube channel and Facebook account that I still let social media “run” my life .
I hate that we have become so brainwashed as a society by social media that woman and men are looking up to ” Instagram “celebrities who elude a certain lifestyle that is 100% fake and all done for the “Gram”.
I hate that we’re out here spending our hard earned money on clothes and shoes to impress people we never met and don’t know .
“DO IT FOR THE GRAM”
I miss the days when life was simple .
The days when it didn’t matter if you had 1000 followers or 0.
I miss the days when I didn’t care about what other people thought or didn’t think about who I was .
I miss the days when my taste of luxury came from reading Gossip Girl books, but still I remained humble and appreciative of what I had .
I miss my childhood , days when I had imagination and creativity shooting through me.
This isn’t a post to ask for attention ,
give off a bitter impression
Or show signs of regression.
I guess you could call this a transparent moment . A rant even.
So forgive me if I come across abrasive , condemnatory, despondent or annoying…
I can’t help it .
I hate social media .
But I need It.
I need my Snapchat to vent, my Instagram to advertise and my Facebook to talk to my family across the world.
Ugh, I hate social media.
But I love it .