Cuffing Season Chronicles: ” Hey Bighead”

Heat means :

LESS CLOTHES

BLASTED AC

BEACH AND POOL PARTIES

… and ..

Commitment Issues

The strong doses of heat mixed with the sweet taste of summery Bellini’s, shirtless gym rats and bikini babes, has been proven to cause the human brain to…

How can I say this nicely….

FRY!

Summer happens to be the #1 time when relationships magically “fail” or go on “hold”.

I think we should see other people”

Its not you.. Its me”

I think we need to take a break

I don’t want to break your heart but I need to work on ME

 

Heat messes with the molecular structure of the human brain <- I was trying to sound smart.

I know by now you’re anticipating the direction of this conversation, probably wondering what point I am trying to make with all this talk.

Be Patient.

I believe that “Cuffing Season” is one of the most ignored seasons worldwide. As soon as it starts to get chilly outside, mammals tend to crave intimacy. Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles.. you name it.

 

The weather affects us more than we know it.

There is a desire for freedom and independence that summer brings. Schools out, summer vacation starts and everyone just wants to do their own thing for one reason or another. Monogamy becomes a old folks tale, something that used to be done back in the days by the “elders”.

Because there is so much going on around the world and even locally in Toronto in the Summer, many feel that being single is more beneficial.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for Free … Analogy comes into play here.

A prime time for not wanting a relationship is during “Caribana” as we Torontonians call it. I believe this is one of the major local and international events that ooze not only sexuality but also promiscuity and breeds “single”  individuals. Males and Females forget their relationship status all in the name of the “wickedest Wuk”.

Wickedest Wuk: The Best Gyration or pelvic to behind movement that one can possibly receive.

I don’t know If there is something about summer lovin that suppressing the desire for commitment…or what..

What is Cuffing Season?

Cuffing Season is the period between fall and winter when people seek to find companionship. Cuffing Season usually begins in the Fall time and ends before Spring fully ends.

 

When is the best time to “cuff”?

Personal Studies have shown that the best cuffing time is when the weather is colder as it is the prime time when the need for intimacy and closeness is. In the summer we tend to want space because of the heat but as it gets cold and fall and winter jackets are needed humans and animals crave closeness.

 

Its at this time when the ” Hey Big Head” ” How are you Stranger” ” You forgot about me already” texts and Dm’s start to float in. The guys/ girls that you thought fell off or decided to stop “shooting their shot” seem to come back In full force to claim who or even what they want.  In the summer times Dm’s are usually dominated by “thirst” based off beach selfies, skimmy selfies or even greased ab selfies.

I guess It’s more lust based then. Meaning that “Cuffing” in the winter time is more relationally based?

False.

I think that No one wants to watch Netflix and Chill Alone, some people enjoy the company of others. With Thanksgiving, Christmas New Year’s and Valentine’s Day being in the colder months of the year I think people just want to have that special someone to share those major holidays with. As soon as V-day is done and the weather starts to warm up a bit the same cycle happens again and people forget the joys and excitement that comes with being “cuffed”.

With “Cuffing Season” literally a week away I thought I would give some Tips and Tricks on how YOU can get cuffed this season OR Cuff someone.

Q1.Where can I find Someone to Cuff?

Dating Sites, Local Events, Social Media and even Church ( believe it or not) are Prime places to meet someone “cuff” worthy.

Q2. Who Should You Cuff?

Cuffing may be something being done for temporary or even long term fulfillment. When deciding that it is something you want to do you need to know what you want out of it and ensure that the person whom you “shack” up with has the same intentions as you. We don’t want any hearts to be broken.  Look for someone who is like minded. If you are looking for a quick “fix” another individual who isn’t seeking long term commitment would be ideal. You need to find someone who you can  figuratively and emotionally complete you and agrees with what you agree with. 

Q3. What Does “Cuffing” Entail? What are the Perks?

Cuffing includes but is not limited too casual outings, Movie Time, Spooning, Couples Massages, Long Walks on the Beach, Bike Rides, Paint and Sip Workshops and Dave and Busters Binging. The Perks of Cuffing can range from Monetary Compensation to Sexual Gratification and even a bed buddy for the cold winter nights. 

Q4 What Do You have to do to Ensure You get Cuffed?

This is the most simple. Be open and available.

That guy who has been diving into your DM’s since 2015 who you have been curving…

That girl who takes selfies on her dirty bathroom sink who has a cute face , chubby waist thick legs in shape…..

That guy whose mixtape has been dropping but you have yet to hear it…

That girl who has 40k IG followers and has booking Info in her Bio

The Guy who has 4 baby mommas and hasn’t been in a relationship in over 5 years

If you continue to curve every person who tries to talk to you, If you act “stush” as my Jamaican ancestors would call it or if you make yourself un-approachable then you could withhold your chances.

 

“To that Guy whose been insta-stalking that IG Baddie with the 30 inch Brazilian..

To the Girl who keeps liking all his IG pictures hoping he will like one back…”

 

Shoot your Shot. You’ll never know 

Its Cuffing Season.. Will you Cuff or be Cuffed?

 

 

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