The Saying ” Good Guys Finish Last” is so fitting not only for males but also for females.
Growing up your parents tell you to go to school, get a good education, wait till marriage, don’t cuss, eat your greens and give back to charity. They tell you that by you doing the right things in life that
GOD would bless you and your life will be ideal and fulfilling.
That was a LIE.
I assure you, since the day I was born I have been trying to do above and beyond all my parents asked to be the “perfect” child and have the “perfect” life.
I use the word perfect very LOOSELY.
I promise you I stayed away from guys, I stayed in my books, spent my summers reading and doing math and phonics while my friends were outside playing in the dirt and sand.
I was forced to do homework.
I tried to find a good wholesome Christian guy, one who loves the Lord and is active in his church community , one whose Love for God exceeds his lustful desires and even his love for me.
I promise you, I tried.
An old colleague from University sent me a snapchat of a series of tweets about “Good Girls” vs “Bad Girls” and it had me thinking.
Like Really Really Thinking.
While sitting in my car on the way to the movies I was so deep in thought I couldn’t even concentrate on the music playing on the radio because my mind was literally wandering.
What if All the things I’ve been doing my whole life in hopes of becoming the perfect child and potential wife were all in vain?
What if mastering the art of trying to be the perfect woman does not guarantee me the white picket fence and the and the handsome successful husband with pearly white teeth, 1 6 figure income and undeniable love for me.
I’ve come to realize that it is less about what you do and what potential YOU think you have, or how good your Shepherd’s Pie is, how good you can mop a kitchen floor or how nice you can hit the high notes on Alicia Key’s song “No One”..
None of that means anything anymore and I realize everyday that as woman we try to do the most and be the most for men we put on pedestals and praise as if they are God, these same men whose body count exceed the hundreds, have 2 baby mommas, 4 side chicks and 1 official unofficial girl.
We try way too hard.
We assume that the girls who are sexually liberated will be the last ones to get married because of the lifestyle they choose to live. We think that because they’re more open and outgoing with their sexual preferences, have semi vulgar mouths and rather spend their Saturday nights at the club then at home with a good book that the chances of them getting “wifed/ booed” up is slimmer.
So many celebrities have attested to this claim. Ive literally seen not only celebrities but people I’ve gone to school with, girls who I was led to believe were not the ideal “wife” or “mother” get engaged, then married and start a beautiful family.
We as women are made to believe that we have to do everything right to please the men around us, made to feel as if only when we become this perfect submissive woman that our KNIGHT in Shining Armour will come and sweep us off our feet.
Its unfortunate that the man can be flawed, he can have bad habits, he can have the worst personality, he could even have bad hygiene .. BUT we are not said to be a complete woman UNTIL we meet him, secure him and potentially marry him.
Staying Pure, Being Nice, Eating Your Greens and Giving Back like Mother Teresa no longer guarantees you’re a “catch” like it used too when I parents were younger and looking for mates/spouses.
You can be the most educated woman in a room with the “most” to offer and still end up lonely at night eating a Tub of Ben and Jerry’s crying while watching “This is Us” on Netflix.
We need to stop doing things to please men Ladies. Our actions don’t always guarantee that we will be the needle he picks out of the haystack of woman.
I am a firm believer in what is meant for you will NEVER pass you by, and what leaves wasn’t meant to be.
Sometimes It has nothing to do with how good or bad the life you are living is and more on what the other person wants.
Not every guys wants the Virgin Mary.
Not every guy wants a woman who rather stay home than go out and party.
Not every guy wants a “Modest Martha” or a “Saved Savvy”.
Not every guy wants the good girl who did everything the “RIGHT” way.
Once the “Good Girls” come to realize that they’re not every man’s preference I believe there will be less stress on trying to be this perfect “Stepford Wive” and more desire on trying to be the best woman they can be for them.
Be the best you for YOU.
Dress the Best for YOU.
Eat the best for YOU.
With or without a man’s validation ladies we are virtuous and worth more than we know.
So If me trying to stay home and read a book instead of being a pawty animal makes me boring, If going to church on Sundays makes me a “square”, If trying to live my life a certain way makes me dull.. SO be it.
I don’t mind.
Good Girls may apparently Finish Last.
BUT not this One. (If I Still get considered into the Good Girls Club That is )