Teaser- The Friend Zone : Does it Exist?

At least once in a lifetime we fall victim to the “friendzone”.

According to Urban Dictionary, the “Friend Zone ” is:

 “A particularly aggravating metaphorical place, that people end up in when someone they are interested in only wants to be friends. It is impossible to get over someone while in the friendzone, because, as friends, you still see them too often for them to be erased from your memory, and yet, you cannot be with them the way you want.”

To some the friend zone is this mysterious realm where only few unfortunate individuals are cursed with living in, to others its non existent.

Society automatically associates the friend zone with rejection, a place where the person is either not interested or does not want to hurt you, so they kindly place you there.

Up until probably four years ago this concept of a friend zone was an unnamed category in which platonic friendships co-existed, or should I say one sided friendships flourished.

To me the friend zone is a quiet corner set out to put men whose intentions may strongly differ from mine. It’s not a mythical black hole that has no end but rather somewhere I feel some men need to linger in until the plans they have for me and the plans I have for them are equal.

I myself have knowingly accepted a one way flight into the friend zone from guys who I have been interested in, not knowing if I would ever come out, but too shy to actively pursue anything else. I have been interested in more but settled for what I could get just to be able to continue to have “him” in my life as something.

The reality is: Some people just aren’t ready for any serious commitment or even just got out of something and need time to heal and place pursuers in this box until they can decide the dynamics of their “friendship” .

Sometimes I ask myself is It really worth it knowingly allowing someone to make me feel like Im good, just not good enough to be anymore than just a friend. I don’t know If it is a insult or that they care enough about me to spare my feelings.

Self expression can be a very very challenging thing to do. I would say it’s because of the fear of rejection , alot of us  want to share how we feel in hopes that it will be reciprocal.  There is a small inner feeling of fear, feeling vulnerable or having the other person let us down that plays heavily on our minds. Some people don’t want to get hurt and their automatic defence response Is to put that other person in a position of comfort, a place they know or feel they have the upper hand and call the shots.


But this zone is not the same for everyone, and intentions for placing people in there can differ depending on the person.


There have been times I myself have put someone in a position I knew they deserved more than but was too afraid of them potentially hurting me to allow them to be anything more. I guess that’s what life and relationships do to you, it changes you.

One thing I have always been afraid of is losing and rejection. I know that is why I’ve kept my feelings to myself on many occasions when I wanted nothing more than too be 100-hunnid. My past has almost made me paranoid and questionable when it comes to things to do with men that literally in the last 4 years I have had 1 relationship and xxxx friend zoned suitors.


One thing I hate about the term “friend zone” is that it gives off the implication that a man and woman can not be platonic friends, it leads one to believe that friendships between males and females can only always have ulterior motives or that one one of the two has a secret love that they’re hiding from the other.


Here is where the concept of males and females being platonic friends comes into play. I genuinely believe that two individuals of the opposite friends can’t have a certain level of attraction between each other and the friendships boundaries NEVER get crossed. Even if the two try energy attracts and sexual tension builds up even between two of the most comfortable childhood friends, I believe something is BOUND to happen.

Once that boundary has been crossed can thingy genuinely go back to what they were before, will visions and thoughts of what transpired pop up naturally in your mind or will you be able to act like it never happened all in the name of preserving your friendship?





 FriendZone Reason #2324: The friend zone can be a place to put someone whom you are too afraid to lose as a friend, but attracted too, yet too afraid to pursue anything in fear that it may not work out.

Does putting someone in the friend zone mean that you aren’t interested or is it more of an emotional response to feeling overwhelmed or pressured to give that individual an answer that they seek to hear?

The friend zone is made out to be this horrible place, a place that people believe once  they have visited it, thats it and they are bound there forever.


My most recent relationship was with a guy who held it down in the friend zone for a hot minute. At first I had NO  intentions of being anything other than his friend despite his good looks. Our conversations were friendly with a  hint of flirting here and there but mostly we kept them simple and welcoming. It wasn’t until years later that I found myself growing feelings  for the same guy that I swore I would only be friends with. That relationship In itself showed me that titles and labels we place on people in our lives are interchanging.

One of the most annoying things about the friend zone (from experience)..

Watching someone who you have been comfortably placed in this zone by pursue someone else knowing your intentions and hearts desires it to be in that person’s life as much more. Some people will tell you to let nature take its course and allow life to happen, others will tell you to take that leap of faith and do what you feel is right. Do you sit back and watch what you believe could be your happiness slip away or do you dash out of that bubble and express yourself?

What if it backfires?

If that person wanted you as more would they not have  tried to talk to you?

Food for thought….


I pose this question:

Have you or anyone you know ever been a victim to the Friend Zone?

Do you believe one should let nature take its course OR fight for what you want?











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