Some days I hate when I have too much time on my hands to think.
I consider myself to be very over analytical and It Is to me a blessing but also a curse.
I realized that It has been a hot minute since I posted so I decided to get out of my head and just authentically write.
I have posed questions to social media on numerous occasions asking my followers what types of posts they would be interested in reading about and things about me they would like to know.
An ex of mine sent me a quiz one day and told me to take it and let him know what my answers were. Quizzes usually remind me of school or work or something educational based , hence my immediate displeasure I had when he first asked me to do it . I won’t lie, I pushed it off for a bit because at the time It wasn’t a priority for me and felt like a strain.
Love languages: The 5 Love Languages
^Was the main title of the website that drew me in almost instantly as I sat down on my bed , MacBook on my lap head tie and Matta in my eyes .
I would say 20+ questions later I clicked finished anxious to see what my results were .
I often thought that I was a materialist person . I believed my love could be bought with some of the finer things in life, I felt that if someone I loved or was interested in bought me pretty stuff instead of giving me their time and affection that it would be alright with me .
Big in Sex and The City bought Carrie things to express his love, Chuck Bass did that for Blair and even celebrities do it on a daily basis .. so why would I be opposed to it ?
When we are younger our perception of the concept of love and lust is sooooo off . I thought growing up that I would get the whole love at first sight experience.
The experience when you bump into a guy on the train, my bag falls from my hands and some of the contents fall out, we both go in to grab the same item.. touch. and BAM.
I believed that love conquered all and no matter what situations came my way if my significant other and I were truly in love nothing could and would tear us apart.
Back to this quiz.
Could you believe that in my 27 years on earth I had NO idea that the concept of love languages were a thing.. I had no idea that ways of “expressing and experiencing love” from someone had a concrete title.
Maybe thats why I have had failed relationships in the past, maybe thats why I am still looking for myself and trying to figure out what I want and don’t want and who I want and don’t want to give it to me.
A lot of relational issues stem from not truly knowing your partners likes and dislikes, what makes them smile and what makes them angry, what things trigger certain emotions and what things don’t. At times we assume that our significant other like one thing when in actuality they are only pretending to like it to make us happy .
Truth be told I am happy that he took the time out to try and see what I liked and didn’t like and get an idea of my way to be loved ( Even though that relationship didn’t end well).
After going on 5lovelanguages I found out more about myself and even though I had an idea that some of the below were ways to my heart, the order was shocking too me.
My Love Languages: ( High to Low)
Quality Time: As I have gotten older I have realized that time spent with someone I care about means more to me than gifts ( shocking!). Even though gifts are nice and I love to have my head filled up with sweet nothings…. Having someone set aside some of their time to jus be around me even if it means doing noting but talking about life, sports, fashion or general social media gossip it moves me. Contraire to the belief of others I am what of the most soft hearted emotional woman you all ever meet. ( I cried watching How to Train A Dragon 1 and 2). The smallest things mean the most to me and someone putting aside some of their time in a day to make me happy..
Physical Touch: A hug goes a long way. Sometimes Its more than a kiss, more than a grips ( yes I said grips), to me it is more of just someone being physically there when I need them the most, it their presence I guess you could say. I think I am one of the most non-physical physical people. I like hugs and kisses and cuddles but at the same time I don’t, if that makes sense.
Words of Affirmation: Actions speak way louder than words.. BUT that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to have someone tell me how beautiful I am, how much they love me, how much they love being around me …. and the list goes on. The thing about words of affirmation is that it has to be authentic and I find of lately a lot of guys are filling females heads with all types of ….. just to get lucky somehow. When I can feel that someones words toward me are true, authentic and coming from a good place… butterflies.
Receiving Gifts : The order of this on the list shocked me the most. I honestly believed that I was a materialistic type of gal but this proved me wrong. I felt that I could be bought with gifts to compensate for where my “partner” would lack and that my Love was more about receiving than giving.
Acts of Service
What was the point of this post?
We often don’t realize what our love languages are, we may think that it is one thing based off of previous relationships, conversations and just general thoughts when in actuality it isn’t. Knowing ourselves is to me so crucial for not only our betterment and growth but for the people who we encounter as well. It is impossible to truly and authentically be loved by someone else if we don’t know the ways we liked to be loved and nurtured.
Before you click out of the blog post and go about your merry day, take some time out and do the Love Languages Quiz.
I would love to know your responses.
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