Dear Black Men

Viewer Discretion is Advised.


Your kinks, coils and strength amuse me and I am proud to be your woman. I admire your perseverance even during adversity and your willingness to go against the stereotypical grain fed by society saying who YOU are. You are so powerful and the world is scared that when you realize the power you have that things will have to change. I love that you come in so many shades and sizes, fit to appease all my appetites. I love the way you’ve loved my mom, my aunts and all the strong women before me. I am thankful that you have been providing for me, ensuring I am fed, educated and set on a good path. I love that you are becoming Doctors and Lawyers and even pursuing positions in politics, challenging the MAN.

I can’t wait to marry you one day. To become your wife, take on your name and build with YOU. I can’t wait to show the world that Black families can be stable and secure. I can’t wait to go against the grain that says that Black men can’t stay with their families and don’t understand the concept of LONG term commitment. You are more than just a thug or a gang banger or even a scammer, and whatever society keeps trying to label you as I won’t accept.

Dear Black Men. I would ride for you… But before I do there’s some things I need to get off my chest.

Im tired of feeling inadequate compared to other women of every other rainbow shade. I am sick of being made to feel like my blackness, the same blackness we share is a curse and not a blessing. It’s because of you why so many women feel insecure, and unsure. I blame you for Kim K and her horrible shape and all the other non WOC who have felt the need to alter their bodies to please YOU. Ive never seen so many women wanting to be tanned have a booty and full lips so BADLY. Why is my Blackness an issue to you? My complexion the basis of your desire to court me? Why project your own internal insecurities onto me, make me feel like being a Black women and I mean a REAL black women is a bad thing. Its’ not fair that you show every other women more love than me, the women who came from the same struggles as you. I was told you would prefer a woman who has all I have but remains silent, a woman who doesn’t bicker like I do.

I am exhausted at your comments concerning my hair, the same hair passed down from OUR ancestors. I don’t care if you don’t like weave nor and I fazed about your opinions concerning Lace Fronts ( MEEK MILL). Why Is it so hard for you to accept me just the way I am without wanting to change so much about me. I refuse to add tracks and contraptions, creamy crack or texturized to my hair to tame my crown so people won’t look down on you. When I wear extensions you have an issue, but when I show my coils you barely look at me. Why does my fro offend you? I thought I could be myself around you? I thought that if I came as I was and was transparent you would accept me.

Why don’t you want to build with me? Why is it that once fame and fortune come into the picture I am your last resort or not an option at all. Is it because I am sassy, does my inherited strong persona scare you off.. or are you just not man enough for me? Why can’t you commit to me and ONLY me? Is there too many options, too much variety and a fish full of sea better than me?

Over it. I can honestly say I am over it all. I am tired of holding you down when you don’t want to hold me down. I am sick of advocating for you when you aren’t even looking my way. I come in all shades and sizes. I may not be Light skin, I may not be mixed and my hair may not be a certain texture but I am still a woman. I am your woman. It hurts me that every other man makes me feel the way Ive been longing for you to make me feel. I hate that I have to resort to men who don’t know the struggles and trials that comes with being US, to feel loved.

You say you don’t want to see me with a white man, but he accepts the things you are too blinded to accept and love. Other cultures stress the importance of marriage and commitment yet you’re giving me a run around.

Im done.

Yes I said it

Dear Black Men. I am done.

Im done allowing you to make me feel this way. Im done allowing your opinion to control my self worth and esteem. I can’t love you if you don’t want to love me. I can’t hold you down anymore.

Im willing to let you go.

Give you away to the world and let them have their way with you how they best see fit. I am done babying you and taking on the mothering role.

Dear Black Men

Two can play that Game.



6 responses to “Dear Black Men”

  1. Rest up and continue to be my Mother.. My mother is my first love .. believe me .. long before you she endured me. She warned me about women. She was concerned when I began to fall victim to the very stereotypes marketed to me to aspire to become.When white women came around she warned me. When I disrespected her ,she reprimanded me. After a long silent stinging treatment, she forgave me. Her loved is everlasting and if you are tired. She’s exhausted.. not before bearing witness to my return.
    When I landed myself in periolous circumstances..She was the first one I called..She answered.. She questioned me intently, I could not answer her, I could not face her..the shame was too great. Then ..she forgave me again.. There’s no greater love in my life than the love of a Black woman. There is a lot of effort placed in destroying Black man.Subsequently the Black woman and the Black child.. There’s a day coming when the Black man will be redeemed..It Starts with the Black Woman again.. Forgiving the Black man again..We need you.. the way we need our mother..We love you in spite of how it appears. Restore your faith in your son .. Take him back into your bosom ..It is your Love that is the ruling force in our lives. Your love will conquer all. Thank you for listening,Hearing and sharing. Thank you.. from the bottom of my ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. And I am Truly sorry for the pain that I have caused you,every which way that I have violated and disrespected you.. I apologize..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Writer,
    This blog was filled with emotion and disappointment. Before readers repost this article consider the preferences of men that the author is selecting? In challenging the application of preferences, has the authors personal preferences prompted her to be attracted to men that consistently place her in this position. Black men, like every other race, has equitable preferences. As a beautiful woman, you have a bevy of suitors but YOU choose to ostracize based of your personal internal preferences which YOU kill some black men for possessing.

    The comment of black men promoting Kim Kardashian’s beauty is a fallacious straw argument. Between the 17th-19th century slave masters were attracted to the voluptuousness of the slave women and consistently reproduced with them. The attraction to the bodies of black women is historically rooted beyond the BLACK MAN. Even your example of meek mill reveals the men you are in pursuit of. Why not cite Obama’s support of his wife, or your own parents relationship. Ask yourself: Has the men I have been allowing into my life exhibit the basic tenants of Christ love for the church? If not than your standards are already way too low.

    After reading this post, I will not be like the above posters in support of an attack on all black men. Your article celebrates judgement from the world in response to your hurt. Imagine Trayvon Martin’s ex-girlfriend posting this same diatribe and days later he is killed. Be weary of mass characterizations of your own race, or those same characteristics will be used to condemn, ostracize, demean, and dehumanize those you love.

    We ALL experience pain and disappointment, but the failure to grow beyond our surrounding is exemplified by both who and what we attract/allow to penetrate in our lives. You have a great following do not let an emotional disappointment rob you of a blessing you may not be ready to receive.

    (Written in Love)


  4. Tonight, my sister and I had a conversation regarding Black Men. She is emotionally hurt behind the treatment she endured during her course having children with the black men that she chose. Today she is angry, bitter, and unbearable to listen to as she describe her rendition of a black man. The conversation went on and on until I just got off the phone. My children’s father wasn’t around much when they were growing up, but I always spoke positive words about him. Today he is a major pillar in their lives. They are grown and made the decision on their own to have a relationship with him. He’s present and supportive to our children because he made a choice and I gave him a chance. Me personally, I adore black men even though I think they can put forth a lot more effort in certain areas ( that’s just me speaking). Nevertheless we are ALL are flawed in one way or another.


  5. Ahem. I’d like to know more of what is not being shared. Deep though. Deep!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: