“LUH”- The Series Ep3

Meet Joyce, Sammy and Latoya.

1. What does self love mean to you?

2. what is one word to describe your self love journey? ( why did you chose that word)

3. if you could change the way woman are portrayed in the media would you?

4.have you ever struggled with any insecurities surrounding your body? how did you overcome them? ( if you did)

Joyce

1.

To me self-love is being unapologetically me. Its wanting to be the best version of me. Accepting all of what makes me me, flaws and all. Its embracing the very thing that use to make me cringe in the mirror & loving it

2.

A word would use to describe my journey with self love would be CONSTANT. Constant because it means continuously over a period of time. The period of time for me has been life long. I am constantly learning new things about myself and learning to accept and or make a change to love who I am. It feels like this journey will never end because I constantly changing and I am constantly trying to self improve.

3.

Yes I would change the way women are portrayed in the media because I feel as though we are only sex symbols. The media will highlight our bodies before our minds or accomplishments. Then when it comes to our bodies we are told that a flat tummy with a big booty & caucasian features is what is beautiful. This is not true! The media needs to be realistic! Understand that when the thickness is real its gonna come with some stretch marks & a little tummy. PeriodT!

4.

YES! i struggled with the way my body is set up. For as long as i can remember I’ve been called ‘THICK’! Literally someone called me thick thick THICKYYYY to my face and thought that it was a compliment. I was mortified!How I overcame this issue is gonna sound a little weird but this is what I did. I started to look in the mirror naked, yes thats right NAKED and I would tell myself I love you and walk away quick fast and in hurry because I was uncomfortable. I did this until i started to linger a little longer in the mirror lol My i love turned into Ouuu Who’s that, You a little cute and stuff, Ouuu get it get it lol I LOVE YOU! I notice i was no longer in a hurry to get out the mirror.I was taught speak it into existence & i did just that. Now when i say it its more of a little cheer for myself to remind me that I really do Love me! lol

-Joyce.

Sammy:

1.

Self love means loving yourself regardless of anyone else’s opinion. People usually see self love as loving yourself physically but the self is not just physical, it’s mental too. So to me, self love means loving yourself both physically and mentally. 

People always chase perfection because it’s an unattainable goal. Nobody is perfect, but we all try to be. “You could be the ripest juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches” – Dita Von Teese

Understanding that our differences is what makes us beautiful, that’s when self love is achieved. Whether it’s a physical difference such as your skin tone, hair type, or body shape OR if it’s a non physical difference such as your personality (introverted vs extroverted), it’s beautiful. 

But I think people get confused and think you have to love yourself in your most natural state and they stigmatize NOT being exactly how you were born. I think if there is something you want to change and it would make you feel better about yourself, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t do it. You want lip fillers? get them. teeth whitening? get it. Love yourself regardless of what other people have to say. 

2.

One word to describe my self-love journey: consistency. It’s not a straight line to achieve self love. My journey started when I was 14 and took years of ups and downs to get to such a great place with how i feel about myself now at 22. Every single person has good days and bad days, but learning how to love yourself through the bad days and being consistent in your journey forwards to loving yourself, there’s nothing that will stop you from getting there. You have to stay consistent because if you give up, you’re giving up on you. 

3.

Absolutely. Again, I think both physically and in non physical ways, women are misrepresented in the media. Physically, I dont think  people don’t understand what goes into creating a single photo of a model, for example. That a model has the glam and hair team and stylist and hours of professional retouching etc. Or even a TV show where there’s a person designated to making the actresses hair always look perfect, another person for her makeup, another person for wardrobe. In-between takes, these actresses are getting touched up so there’s never anything “wrong” with how they look. everything is so fake and that’s the standards women hold themselves to because we don’t see what it takes to make the woman look how they do. 

In regards to non physical ways women are misrepresented in the media, it’s everything from how women are shown to be emotional all the time, catty towards each-other instead of being decent human beings to one another, always being pitted against one another and not even for something like position of CEO in the workforce, it’s usually over the attention of a man. And again, from a young age, this is what women are taught and it’s not what women should be trying to emulate. 

4.

I have had so many struggles with loving myself and honestly, I still struggle with it sometimes. I don’t think the thoughts of not looking good enough or not being good enough as a person ever goes away because it’s constantly pushed in our face in the media. I think how we choose to deal with it is how we overcome it. Understanding your own struggles and what makes you feel bad about yourself and then learning healthy ways to push through those thoughts and feelings. My struggles with self love ran deep, so my coping mechanisms come from years of therapy and reading self help books as well as just life experience. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone but most importantly, never giving up on myself. Now I am the most happiest, confident, outgoing and person I could possibly be. Although I have my bad days like everyone does, i don’t let it affect me the way it used to. If i can do it, anyone can do it. 

-Sammy

Toya

1.

Self love to me is exactly that, loving one’s self. It means being in full control of your well being & happiness, spiritually, mentally, & physically. It involves self observation & evaluation; admitting to those not so desirable things about yourself & being willing to work on them. It means embracing your flaws & insecurities & loving them, rather than allowing them to hinder or consume you. It means sometimes being selfish! With your time, with your energy, with your entire existence. Self love to me, means loving yourself; whole heartedly, unapologetically, at all cost, & at all times. 

2.

Ongoing.

This journey is one that continues daily. I’m constantly learning as I go; about myself, and why self love is so important, in the process of being the best version of me. Some days are harder than some, but that is apart of the ongoing process. 

3.

In a heartbeat lol! I find that the media tends to highlight & glorify a certain caliber of female while overlooking others. I feel like there’s a lack of raw, real transparency. It would be refreshing if more “every day” women who have natural bodies, regular 9-5’s, who’ve overcome real life struggles, broke generational curses, etc were highlighted and praised as much as the vixens, Instagram models etc. I want the generation of young women to come to know that you can be a “regular degular” girl, & still be bomb, still be a boss, still be THAT girl!

4.

My skin-For awhile I have struggled with dark spots & blemishes on different parts of my skin mainly caused from ingrown hairs (struggles of a hairy girl). I tried everything including skin lightening creams which at one point made it worst. I was so insecure that I wouldn’t dare leave my house without makeup, not to go to the beach, not to take out the garbage, sometimes not even to answer the front door! I remember my first overnight with my boyfriend, I slept in my makeup because there was no way he was gonna call me a cat fish lol. The following day he asked me why I did that & when I expressed to him that I grow hair on my neck & suffer from dark spots he said “so? And btw I could see the hair.” In my head I was like “he’s briiight” but it helped me a great deal, to embrace it & work on it, rather than allowing it to consume me. It’s still a struggle but I’ve gotten way better! 

My weight-As of late I’ve been struggling with my weight as it fluctuates a great deal after having my son. Being the slim girl in a time where “thick is in”, bought bodies are glorified, & well, all my friends’ bodies are curved out & banging, has been quite the challenge. On my thicker days I feel great, but the second I feel like I’ve lost any weight I’m beating up on myself & not interested in wearing certain outfits. I’m learning that my weight doesn’t change my bomb personality & good spirit, & to just be confident in that alone. 

-Toya

Thank you so much ladies. Your Vulnerability speaks volumes.

xoxo

Lici.